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I’m torn, because all of my life people have told me that home is where the heart is

But for the first time in my life, coming home from college to visit the family seemed more like a job than a actual vacation. I realized that "home" was not "home" at all with out the people who made it what it was while you lived here. When I say people I am talking about my 12-20 closet friends from high school who have moved on or moved out of our circle here in NM. They too are like a family. It shocks me to know many of my colleagues who do NOT keep in touch with many peers from high school, when most of my posse is from there. Don't get me wrong I love my family and it was wonderful to see them, but after 48 hours of re-uniting (oh it felt so good) I was felt my time here had reached its end. It's a bittersweet feeling to me to think that I have finally out grown the town where I spent all of my childhood years. But I suppose that's life. We move on, we grow, we learn. This chapter is complete.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Do you ever just want to run outside and scream! Sometimes I just do not get it. Please someone correct me if I am wrong, but isn't summer during your college years supposed to be full of F.U.N. (fuckin' uncontrollable nonsense) maybe its just me... But why must some people feel we HAVE TO grow up so quickly. This is the time to take to be RIDICULOUS and SILLY. Make crazy memories and only have minor consequences. Having the 9-5 job is such a bitch and we have plenty of time for that. I know and understand that WE (in the now) need to learn responsibility but aren't we allowed a little room for error? Life is not meant to be taking so SERIOUSLY. This seems to be the ongoing theme of my blog.. Life and how to live it. SO sometimes life sucks... but as my boyfriend always puts it... "deal with it." Shit happens, but the show must go on. And on it will. Leave your audience wanting more... a freakin' ENCORE! You don't want them to walk out at intermission because of boredom. Live for crying out loud! Get liberated! Love---laugh---learn--- LIVE!!

No Regrets

I will carry you through the hurricane waters
And I'll remember you in the blue skies
I will carry you through the hurricane waters
And I'll remember you in the blue skies

Something happens when
You're caught searching for an answer
When you're stuck in the middle
Of a place that you don't belong
When you start to lose sight of what's right and wrong
When we started it was innocent
'Cause when we started it was innocent

Until we meet again
Until it's like it was
Until then
Until the answers start raining down
Until the skies open up until the trumpet starts
Until then
Until the city and the county ain't divided
Until then
Until the spirit and the mind ain't fighting
Until the scenes of tomarrow and today finally play

I will carry you through the hurricane waters
And I'll remember you in the blue skies
I will carry you through the hurricane waters
And I'll remember you in the blue skies

*** Life is funny, because everyone tries to make sense of it all. You honestly can't. All we can do is just live in the moment. There are ways to help make the WAY we live a bit better. i mean there is the Holy way to living-->whatever your respective religion is-- or there is the Fear all---or Fuck all. (that’s a fun one) One can be optimistic, pessimistic, realistic or all three if you are really dodgy character. Earlier i posted that I wasn't 'living'( in the most exciting sense of the word), i was just living(in the dullest sense of the word) working, sleeping, not eating much because i was too concerned with my body in a bathing suit (That is an entirely new blog, another day) but school was consuming me and i was becoming easily irritated and frustrated with everyone and everything around me. How depressing. Well thank heavens for a week vacation with my 3 beautiful friends on the beach with fruity frozen drinks. Not only was it a vacation, but a great reflection on how to enjoy the life around you. It is much too short to be taken THAT SERIOUSLY. My point of today's blog... since then i have been a ton more open to others and will never pass up a chance to hang out with the people i love and make me happy. Which brings me to why i decided to paste these amazing lyrics up above (this song itself, is not my favorite, but the lyrics make it worth listening to) I have several close friends who i not only adore but keep close to my heart. No matter, what happens with life and where our respective roads take us, we will always have good memories to hold on to. But do you ever wonder what would have happened if life had led us on another course? or If the timing was different? Would i still have these friends? Do things happen for a reason? was it meant to be? I always tell people 'Coulda Shoulda Woulda but you didn’t' because i feel if we question everything we did or do, life itself would drive us mental. But just for a moment I wanted to sit and think of 'those' times things could have changed? Where would i be now? Who would i be? Its kinda scary. (but like i mentioned above We honestly can't make sense of life) In the end, I am happy with where I am. There are things I would like to change, (but in the grand scheme of Life- there are minor) but everything i have done in the past was perfect. No regrets. I have learned from my mistakes, grown up ( a little, i still have a lots of lessons to learn) I suppose that is what makes Life so wonderful. Embrace the unknown and just be thankful we are alive and able to wake up each day and LIVE!

After reading this, i ask you to take a moment and think do i have any regrets? If you answer yes. why? If No, then continue living the way you are. Because personally, we shouldn’t have any regrets.***

Carpe Diem!

Pebbles.

Tonight, I will refer to them as 'the others'.

Simply put. 'Nobody likes a pebble in their shoe'. So why must the 'others' always place it there, when you are wearing sneakers. Do you know how hard it is to put a pebble in sneaker?? First you have to find the right pebble... The one with the sharp edge, but small enough to move around the arch of the foot in the shoe. Then, you have to get a hold of the leg with the foot with the sneaker. Then there is the unlacing, oh Damn the unlacing. Pending on 'the other' this process can be short and sweet or they can choose to draw it out. (pray they choose the first one). After the hellish lacing process we get to the actual placing of pebble. (surprisingly enough is the easiest and fastest step.)

So there it sits, in the shoe, under the arch of the foot attached to the leg, UNTIL the 'other' takes it out themselves or buys your flip flops.

Why can't you just take the pebble out all by your lonesome you ask??? Because as soon as you take it out, another 'other' sticks one right back. All in all, there is NO way to live a pebble-free life.

So my advice, stick with the sneakers..... that way you only have one pebble at a time as oppose to hundreds.

Whats in the middle of your room?

The Pink elephant... with a yellow tie

Ever have that awkward situation with friends where there's the elephant in the room yet no one makes a comment about him. He just sits there in the middle of the room waiting to be addressed; yet most cease to accept his existence.

Everyone has their own elephant, or maybe itÂ’s not even an elephant maybe its a hippo? Or Hell even as small as a duck! Whatever it is, I am sure he would like to be acknowledged. Go on try speaking to it face to face! You may surprise yourself.

My elephant's name is Common. Common Freakin' Courtesy. He is Pink, tall, a bit over weight and he wears a designer yellow tie. Stylish I know! He seems to be everywhere I go, sometimes people see him, greet him and wave and other times people simply ignore him. It is a shame; CC is a kind and extremely easygoing animal. He always minds his P's and Q's and puts others before himself. (Which usually results in people taking advantage of the poor little guy) He feels like cellophane, no one knows his name and he just never gets noticed when it really matters.

Next time you see CC, give him a smile or if your in a really good mood a nice pat on the back and tell him not to give up…because the difference between Extra-ordinary and Plain Ordinary is that little EXTRA in front.

I hope that maybe after writing this post and with the help of people like you my elephant will change and move on to bigger and better things.

'Live A Little'
That is the campaign slogan for my place of employment... it has this catchy and roll off the tongue feel. So easy to say yet so hard to do. What constitutes living a little? Taking a shower at night instead of the morning? Adding that extra scoop of ice cream to your bowl? Stepping out of that day by day routine, that seems to suck us in like the bermuda triangle. Everywhere we go people say 'oh sit back let loose', have a 'hay' day! 'go with the flow' 'live like you were dying' but I just can't quite grasp the concept. I go to school, I work, I live! (a little) I am healthy, have a supportive family, loyal friends and a new dog. Yet, as my roomate pointed out, we don't have fun anymore. Vanity, Pressure and constant busy work has consumed us. We wake up day after day, breathe in and out and just 'be'. I consider my self an extreme optimist, but for the first time in my life, i feel confused and unmistakingly out of ideas. What happened? What keeps us motivated? How did we lose the 'spark'? How can we find the balance of LIVING and living?

Just Checking